Not fearing the storm

I love the quote that says ” Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear it” (Author unknown). I love this because it helps me see life in a new way. Instead of looking at life like its against me I dare to believe life is FOR ME. That Gods plans for me are good. That He can and will work everything for His glory. No matter how devastating the blow.

I’ve been through a few storms in my life and being on the other end of each of them I can say I believe this statement 100%. I honestly would not have allowed God to show me the hurt in my heart had my heart not hit rock bottom through divorce. When my mom passed away my heart turned to stone. I was incapable of feeling for an entire year. Yes, it was the shock but I barricaded my heart from everyone. God, family, friends. It was the first year since being saved that I hadn’t experienced feeling God because I was so fearful of feeling anything at all . I was afraid to feel the pain of my mom leaving this earth so quickly. So instead of addressing any of the pain I shut down.

I threw my guards up, a blank stare covered my face, and all my heart was good for was pumping blood.

I remember just about a year after my mom passed away I was laying in bed crying. I was finally starting to feel the pain, the ache of what it meant to lose my mom. I wanted to be able to be able to text her, to curl up and have her arms wrap around me and tell me it’s all going to be okay. As I was opening my heart to allowing myself to feel this pain I suddenly knew one of my angels was by my bedside and I began laughing hysterical. I went from sobbing, tears streaming down my face to supernatural joy. It was in that moment that I remembered God is real, He is for me, He wants me, He is the one that is going to be able to heal me from this pain. That shifted everything for me.

I didn’t have to fear the storm within me in anymore. It was in those moments I was reminded that He was closer than my breath. That if anyone could take the pain away, it was Him. Now when I say take the pain away I don’t mean erase the pain. I mean I could walk hand in hand with Him and allow Him to heal me to the point of being fully alive, fully connected to love again as I walk through some of the deepest pains of my heart. And thats just what I have chosen to do. And its what you can choose to do too.

I don’t have to be afraid. I can stand on the rock that is steadfast and true. His truth is not like the worlds so called truth. Sinking sands of sorts. A mirage. It looks good from afar but when you come close you realize theres actually nothing to it.

The opposite is true with God when you draw close to God more is revealed. You begin to see just how God intertwined it all together and just how BIG that rock is that you can stand on. You will see testimony after testimony of people who have gone before you declaring He is faithful. I can trust Him because He never failed me. He never left me. We get to stand on this rock.